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About Naples

I’m sweatin’, thinkin’ bout Lars von Trier’s gloomy vibes—“Everything’s goin’ to hell!”—and here I am, chattin’ up some gal who prolly knows more tricks than Mr. Burns has tax evasions. Did ya know, back in old Rome, prostitutes had to dye their hair blonde? Weird, right? Stand out or somethin’. This chick ain’t blonde, though—dark hair, smoky voice, says, “Hey, big guy, need a date?” D’oh! I’m flattered, angry, scared—all at once! Marge’d kill me faster than that planet smashes Earth!

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Then, the door swings open, and in walks this dude. He’s got a mohawk that’s taller than my chair. I’m thinkin’, “What the heck?” He sits down, and I’m like, “You sure you want me to touch that?” He laughs and says, “Just make it sharper!” I’m like, “Sharp? You want a weapon or a haircut?”

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