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About Rome

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, arborist by day, hater of everything by life. Sex-dating? What a damn mess. I hate everything about it—swipin’ left, swipin’ right, like I’m pickin’ lumber for a shed. Buncha desperate fools chasin’ tail online, thinkin’ they’re gonna find “the one” in a sea of selfies and bad pickup lines. “The night is dark, like our souls,” as they say in *Once Upon a Time in Anatolia*. That’s sex-dating—dark, soul-crushin’, and full of idiots.

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After the market, I head back to the shop. I’m in the zone, sewing up a storm. Then, my neighbor, Lucia, pops in. She’s always got the latest gossip. Apparently, there’s a new gelato place opening on Via Trieste. I’m like, “Great, just what I need—more gelato!” But honestly, I’m excited.

Lion roams the streets of Italian town after daring escape from circus!