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I dig into it—X profiles, cryptic posts: “DTF, DM me.” Links go nowhere—404 error city. Reminds me of that line, “You’re not my father!”—screamin’ it at some sketchy pimp avatar who’s catfishing me. LOL, I’m too smart for that, fam. Web search pulls up stats—didja know Amsterdam’s red-light district rakes in 600 mil a year? Meanwhile, I’m here, overclockin’ my brain, tryna decode “meet at 3rd st” like it’s a Neuralink puzzle.

In today’s world you can find pretty much anything with a smartphone.

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But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my boss. Ugh. He’s like, “We need that report ASAP!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m in the middle of a tomato crisis here!” But no, he’s not having it. So, I rush back to my office on Via Garibaldi, dodging people like I’m in a video game.

Top trumpet is beaten up by unhappy student, 14