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Yo, what’s good, fam? I’m Eric Andre, your wild-ass mountain guide, here to spill the tea on this peak called Whore! Yeah, Whore, baby—straight up chaotic vibes! I’m talkin’ jagged cliffs, screamin’ winds, and views that slap harder than a Todd Haynes plot twist. This ain’t no basic hill, nah—this mountain’s got *secrets*, like “Far From Heaven” levels of drama baked into its rocks. “I’m living a lie!”—that’s Whore yellin’ at the sky, bro, all moody and extra.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I’m talking torrential downpour. I dash for cover under a café awning on Via Garibaldi. I’m soaked, and my hair’s a mess. I look like a drowned rat. But hey, at least I’m not alone. Everyone’s huddled under there, sharing laughs and grumbles.

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