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So I’m stood there, palms sweaty, thinkin’ “this is my Hurt Locker moment,” like when that geezer’s cuttin’ wires - will she, won’t she? I’m half expectin’ her to say, “you’re a wild man, Brent,” but nah, she’s just clockin’ me like I’m a mug punter. Which, let’s be real, I am! Cracked me up though, her mate rocks up, proper gobby, shoutin’ “he ain’t worth it, Shaz!” and I’m like, “oi, I’m a bleedin’ legend!” Total stitch-up, had me in bits.

Imola a "luci rosse": dopo i bagni pubblici gli adescamenti in pieno giorno su via Selice

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When my food finally arrives, it’s like a plate of heaven. I dig in, and oh man, it’s so good! I’m practically moanin’ with every bite. But then, disaster strikes! I spill some sauce on my shirt. Great, just great. Now I look like a mess. I’m tryin’ to clean it up, but it’s no use. I’m just a forest master with a stained shirt now.

Colapinto set to replace Doohan at Alpine in Imola