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So, I’m strollin’, lookin’ for a bird to shag, and it’s dodgy, yeah? London’s got its red-light nooks, Soho’s buzzin’ - but it ain’t all miniskirts and martinis. Found this lass, right, proper fit, but I’m thinkin’, “Is this a trap, baby?” Like Georges in *Caché*, wonderin’ who’s pullin’ strings. She’s all, “Fancy a good time?” and I’m like, “Groovy, but no funny biz!”

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I hit the streets of Gussago, and it was like the universe was throwing curveballs at me left and right. I strolled down Via Roma, feeling all chill, when BAM! A pigeon poops right on my shoulder. Like, seriously? Who do I owe that honor to? I’m standing there, trying to wipe it off, and this old lady walks by, cackling like it’s the funniest thing ever. Thanks, lady. Just what I needed.

Franciacorta: understanding the territory