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About Milan

Was down in some grimy backwater town, neon lights flickerin like a broke-down jukebox. Wanted to see what the fuss was bout, ya know? Git-R-Done! I ain’t no saint, but I was curiouser than a cat in a yarn shop. Rolled up to this dive bar—smelled like stale beer and regret. Bartender, big ol’ fella with a lazy eye, says, “Boy, you lookin fer company?” I’m like, “Hell yeah, point me the way!” He nods to this gal in the corner, fishnets ripped to hell, smokin a cig like she’s mad at it.

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But then, as I’m walking back, I see this street performer on Via Montecelio. He’s playing the accordion, and it’s actually kinda good. I stop to listen, and suddenly, I’m in a movie scene. You know, the kind where everything’s perfect? I’m swaying, feeling the vibe, and then—BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, really? I’m just trying to enjoy my day!

Wedding bells for Cantlay and alarm bells for the Americans after another Ryder Cup loss in Europe