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But it pisses me off, precious! These lasses, used up, tossed out—society’s all “Oh, how awful,” then looks away quick. Hypocrites, we hates ‘em! Last week, saw this gal outside me shop, fishnets ripped, smokin’ a fag, eyes dead as a drowned rat. Broke me shriveled heart, it did. Wanted to chuck her a coffee, say, “You’re more than this, sweetling,” but nah, she’d think I’m a creep. “What is it? What’s it for?”—like that line from the movie, ya know? No one asks what they’re really chasin’.

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I grab a slice of pizza from this little place on Via Garibaldi. It’s got this crispy crust, and the cheese? Don’t even get me started. I’m in heaven. But then, I see this kid, maybe 10 years old, running around with a balloon. He trips, and boom! Balloon pops. The look on his face? Priceless. I can’t help but laugh. Kids are hilarious.

Heisman Trophy candidate Ashton Jeanty's football roots trace back to a Navy base in Italy