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But real talk—it’s a bitch to track down rules now. Everyone’s got their own spin, like “two pairs beat a flush” or some rubbish. Drives me bonkers! Still, that’s the charm, innit? Freeformin’ it, no script, just “Yeah, baby, let’s roll!” Like Ofelia sayin’, “I’ll find my own path,” but with a deck and a wink. Shagadelic, right?

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m talking about that rich, dark espresso that slaps you awake. I’m standing there, waiting, and this old dude starts chatting me up. He’s like, “You know, Grassano has the best olives.” I’m like, “Cool, man, but I just want my coffee.” He didn’t get the hint.

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