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I’m chattin to this bloke once—met him on Grindr, yeah? Total charmer, says he’s “chill.” Next thing, he’s textin me 50 times a day! “Randomness is my chaos,” Clementine’d say—fuckin chaos alright! Pissed me off, Clarice… wanted to carve him up a bit. But nah, I ghosted—classy exit, me.

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After the tea fiasco, I decide to take a stroll. I head over to Via Garibaldi, and it’s beautiful. The sun is setting, and the buildings are all golden. I’m feeling a bit better, you know? But then, I see this group of tourists. They’re lost, and they look at me like I’m some kind of map. I’m like, “Dude, I’m not a GPS!” But I help them anyway. Turns out, they wanted to find the Church of San Michele. I mean, it’s a cool place, but c’mon, Google exists!

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