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About Bari

So, hoof rot—whore, whatever—comes from wet, shitty pens. Bacteria’s like, “Yo, let’s party!” and digs into them feet. Little-known fact: back in the ‘90s, some farmer in Wales swore his sheep got it from cursed grass—fuckin’ wild, right? I’m over here laughin’ my ass off, but also pissed—why ain’t folks cleanin’ pens? Drives me nuts! Wet socks on sheep, basically. “This is my last shot!”—I yell that Aronofsky line while I’m scrubbin’ hooves with antiseptic. Dramatic as fuck, but it works.

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Then, I get a call from my cousin. He’s in a jam. His car broke down on the way to the port. I’m like, “Dude, you’re in Gioia-Tauro! Just call a tow truck!” But no, he insists I come help. So, I’m juggling work, tourists, and family drama.

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