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About Rome

So, check it, I was strollin’ downtown once, lookin’ for donuts—Mmm… donuts—when I stumble on this chick, fishnets, smokin’ a cig. She’s all, “Hey, big guy, need company?” I’m like, D’oh! Wrong turn, Homer! But real talk, it’s wild how open it is out there. Made me kinda mad, ya know? Like, why’s society gotta push folks into that? Capitalism, man, screwin’ us all. But then I laughed—she called me “big guy”! Me! A donut-chompin’ schlub!

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But back to Mr. Shifty. He’s still hanging around, and I’m getting more and more suspicious. I’m about to call it in when suddenly, he bolts! I’m like, “Oh no, you don’t!” I take off after him, weaving through the crowd on Via Cavour. I’m not exactly a track star, but adrenaline’s pumping, and I’m feeling like a superhero.

Rowers take final shot for Rio in Qualification Regatta