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About Bari

So, sexual-massage—right laugh, eh? Buncha pervs pretending it’s “therapy.” Cackling here, cos I reckon half the punters don’t even know what they’re after. Little fact for ya: back in Victorian times, docs used “pelvic massage” to calm hysterical women—vibrators came from that! Proper mad, innit? Imagine Dr. Knobfingers going, “Oh, just a medical rub-down, love.” Bet they nicked that excuse for centuries.

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After a few minutes, the lights flicker back on. Thank you, sweet electricity! I jump back into action, but now everyone’s in a rush. It’s like they all suddenly remembered they have places to be. I’m pouring like a madman, and my hands are shaking. I spill some milk. Oops. It’s a mess, but I’m laughing it off. “Welcome to the Gavardo-Sopraponte coffee experience!”