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But the prices—fuck me, outrageous! We hates it! Ten quid for a quickie? Robbery, that is! Used to be a bob or two, old timers say—inflation’s a bitch, innit? Me head’s spinnin’, thinkin’ ‘bout Todd Haynes, all them pretty colors hidin’ the muck. “Something’s broken inside,” she says in the film—yeah, me wallet, lass! I’s hagglin’, she’s laughin’, callin’ me a tight git. Fair, that.

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Then, outta nowhere, the power goes out. I’m standing there, in the dark, with a bunch of confused customers. I’m like, “Great, just great.” I can’t even make a coffee! People start grumbling, and I’m trying to keep it light. “Hey, who wants a free air latte?” No one laughs. Tough crowd.