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About Bari

So, erotic-massage—little known fact—it’s ancient, like Egypt-old. Pharaohs got it, usin’ oils smellin’ like lotus and lust—crazy, huh? Makes me happy thinkin’ folks back then knew how to chill. But here’s what pisses me off: today, it’s all bougie spas chargin’ $300 a pop! For what? A 20-minute tease? Gimme a break! The 1% turned somethin’ pure into a cash cow—typical! I say, bring it back to the people—affordable, gritty, real-deal rubs. None of this sanitized crap.

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So, I start taking orders. “Cappuccino? Sure! Latte? You got it!” But then, this dude walks in. He’s got a massive backpack, like he’s about to hike the Alps or something. He orders a double espresso, and I’m like, “Bro, you sure you can handle that?” He just stares at me, all serious. I pour it, and he downs it like it’s water. I’m shocked. Like, who does that?