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Me? Gets me riled up, it does! All these profiles – “lookin’ for fun,” “no strings,” blah blah. Like fish flashin’ scales to lure ya! Then – bam – ghosted! Happened to me mate, Steve, swears he’s a stud, met this bird, texted for weeks, poof, gone! “The wind’s blowing harder,” like in the film – effort wasted, blown away! Pissed me off, precious, hate the fakes!

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Finally, we end up at a little trattoria. I order risotto. It’s heavenly! I’m in food heaven. Luca’s talking about his new job, and I’m just stuffing my face. Life is good again.

Venn diagram of measles-associated complications in hospitalised cases...