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I’m thinkin’, *Joey, don’t be a fool*, but my brain’s screamin’, “Witness me!” like I’m bout to dive into somethin’ epic. So, I haggle—cuz I’m Joey, right?—and she drops to 40. Score! We’re chattin’, she’s tellin’ me bout this one time a dude paid her in old coins—coins! Like, what is this, pirate times? I’m crackin’ up, picturin’ some loser with a peg leg tryna get lucky.

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But then, she pulls out a cannoli. “For you!” she says. I’m like, “Oh heck yeah!” I take a bite, and it’s like heaven exploded in my mouth. I forget all about the audit. Who cares about numbers when you’ve got this creamy goodness?

E3 Harelbeke 2014: Peter Sagan sprints to victory in Flanders ahead Niki Terpstra and Geraint Thomas