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But here’s a secret, darlin’—some places sneak in “extras.” Oh, I ain’t judgin’, but I was shocked plumb to my toes! Thought, “Dolly, you ain’t that kinda gal!” Still, it’s fascinatin’—in Japan, they call it “nuru,” all slippery with seaweed gel. Seaweed! I’d prob’ly smell like a sushi roll! Makes me laugh ‘til my sides split. “Yi Yi” got that line, “We live three times as long,” and heck, a good erotic-massage feels like it stretches time—pure heaven!

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As I’m flipping through the papers, I notice some weird numbers. Like, how do you sell 500 loaves of bread in a day when you’re only open for 6 hours? I’m like, “Nonna, what’s up with this?” She just laughs and says, “Maybe I have a secret recipe!” I’m thinking, “Yeah, a secret recipe for disaster!”

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