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About Milan

What gets my goat? The hypocrisy, mate! Politicos bangin’ on about morals, then—bam!—caught with their trousers down. Makes me wanna shout, “Veni, vidi, vici!”—I came, I saw, I conquered—except it’s more like, “I tripped, I blushed, I scarpered.” Surprised me how normal some of these gals are—chatty, even. One told me she’d seen *Royal Tenenbaums* thrice—said it’s “her vibe.” Fair play, I thought, bit chuffed.

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Now, let me tell ya, that store is a treasure trove. I grab the coolant, but then I see this gelato stand outside. I mean, c’mon, it’s Galatone! I can’t resist. I get a scoop of pistachio, and it’s like heaven in a cone. I’m standing there, licking my gelato, and I see this old guy, Nonno Giuseppe, sitting on a bench. He’s got this huge smile, and I’m like, “Man, I wanna be like him when I’m old.”

Talking Point: Was the ‘Gilded Glamour’ of the Met Gala tone deaf?