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So, picture this—I tried it once, swanky joint downtown. Dim lights, soft music, total mood. This chick, she’s rubbin’ my back, and I’m like, “Oh honey, yas!” Made me happy as a pig in mud. But then—get this—she whispers some weird chant! Like, ancient tantric stuff? Said it’s from India, 2,000 years old, boosts yer “energy.” I’m thinkin’, “What, am I a lightbulb now?” *Nanny laugh* HA-HA-HA! Freaky, but kinda cool, ya know?

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So, I dive in. I’m under the hood, and suddenly, I hear this loud honking. I pop my head out, and it’s some tourist in a rental car, lost as a puppy. He’s waving his hands like he’s directing traffic. I’m thinking, “Bro, you’re in Galatone, not Rome!” I shout, “Just follow the Via delle Vigne, man!” He looks at me like I’m speaking Martian. Classic.

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