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Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). Yo, so i’m this insurance investigator, right? Been trackin’ down shady claims all week. But this one gig—find a prostitute—holy crap, it’s wild! Got this dude claimin’ he got robbed by her. Says she took his wallet, watch, the works. I’m thinkin’, “Man, ain’t that a bleak little cul-de-sac?” Like in *Inside Llewyn Davis*, ya know? Life’s just kickin’ this guy while he’s down.
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Man, what a day! Seriously, I can’t even. So, I wake up in my tiny apartment on Via Roma, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.
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