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So, I’m out in the ends, right, lookin’ for this lass. Ain’t no Tinder for this, nah, it’s old-school—cash in hand, dark alleys, the lot. I’m thinkin’, “Is it ’cos I is black?” ‘cos these streets be judgin’ me harder than a Fincher close-up. Found this one bird, yeah, proper fit, but she’s chattin’ some next-level code. “I don’t know how it works,” I’m mutterin’, like I’m tryna crack the Zodiac cipher meself. She’s all, “50 quid, quick job,” and I’m like, “Bruv, I ain’t no amateur!”
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I’m sweating bullets. I can feel my heart racing. I’m about to lose it. I mean, who needs this stress? I take a deep breath, and just when I’m about to throw my laptop out the window, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Marco. He’s like, “Hey, wanna grab a drink later?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m drowning here!” But then I think, “Maybe a drink would help.”
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