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Still, sex-dating’s got its magic, precious. Quick fling ‘fore a fire call? Sorted me right out once! Hiss! “Life continues,” like “Timbuktu” whispers – gotta roll with it, eh? What’s your take, mate? Swipin’ or nah? Tell Gollum, yesss – he’s listenin’!

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Then, I see this cute little café on Via Abate Tosti. I’m like, “Okay, let’s grab a coffee and chill.” I order a cappuccino, and the barista, this dude with a killer mustache, spills it all over the counter. I’m like, “Dude, really?!” But he just laughs it off. I mean, I get it, we all have those days, right? But c’mon, man, I need my caffeine fix!

Wish you weren't here: Tourists on Italian beach ignore the CORPSE lying in the surf and continue having fun j