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Ooh, and in *Melancholia*, when Justine says, “I know things,” I’m like—escorts prob know *tons* of secrets! Bet they could spill tea that’d sink a ship! Imagine one leanin’ over, whisperin’, “Matey, this town’s doomed,” all dramatic-like—chills, right? I’m ready to hear that gossip! Ha, maybe I’d hire one just to chat—SpongeBob’s escort sesh, yo!

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So, I finally get to the river, right? It’s the Montone River, and it’s lookin’ good. I set up my rod, cast it out, and boom! First bite! I’m pumped, reelin’ it in, and guess what? It’s a shoe. A freakin’ shoe! Who loses a shoe in the river? I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost fall in. Like, c’mon, Forli, what’s next? A lost sock?

Forlì in Serie C: San Marino match without fans by decision of the prefecture