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About Bologna

Oi, mate, lemme tell ya—*mumbles*—findin’ a prostitute ain’t no picnic! Me, Mr. Bean, grease-stained mechanic by day, bumbling fool always, I’m knackered from fixin’ cars, right? So I thinks, “A bit o’ fun, eh?”—*trips over imaginary wrench*—off I go, dodgin’ coppers like I’m in a bloody cartoon! Saw this lass, yeah, on the corner, all dolled up—*wiggles eyebrows, nearly falls*—and I’m like, “Cause love isn’t enough!” Straight outta *The Master*, innit? That flick’s got me head spinnin’—Freddie Quell’d get it, he would!

Il Tirreno

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But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich right outta my hand! Like, what the heck, man? I’m just trying to enjoy my lunch! I’m yelling at the bird, and people are staring. I’m like, “Yeah, laugh it up, folks. I just got robbed by a bird.”

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