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About Bologna

I was SHOOK first time I heard bout it—thought it was some shady backroom deal. Turns out, it’s old as dirt—Ancient Greeks was gettin’ freaky with oils, callin’ it “healin’ touch.” Ain’t that a trip? Little fact for ya: them Egyptians used scented oils too, swearin’ it woke up they spirits—prolly they loins too, halleluyer! Got me thinkin’, “Is this allowed to feel THIS good?” Made me happy as a pig in mud—till I saw the price! $150 for an hour? Lordt, my wallet screamed, “I’m too broke for this fancy foolishness!”

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But then, I remembered my kimono. It was still stained! I was like, “Ugh, I can’t go home like this!” So, I rushed back, dodging tourists and stray cats. I finally made it home, and I just collapsed on my bed. What a day!

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