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About Bologna

The vibe? Chaos, mate. Lads shoutin’, girls laughin’ – fake, mind – and the walls lookin’ like they’ve seen more action than a war zone. Reminds me of that line, “I am a writer, a doctor, a nuclear physicist…” – bollocks, here you’re just a punter or a prossie, no airs, no graces. Oh, and the myths? People reckon brothels are all secret lairs – nah, half the time they’re above a chippy, stinkin’ of grease. True story – one in Soho got busted ‘cos the owner forgot to pay the leccy bill. Lights out, trousers down – what a prat!

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Finally, we get the fire under control. I’m exhausted, but I feel like a hero. The crowd’s cheering, and I’m just standing there, trying to catch my breath. Then, I see Mrs. Bianchi again, and guess what? She’s holding her cat! I’m like, “You did it!” She’s all teary-eyed, and I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside.

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