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Angry? Yeh, when they scam ya—fake pics, or some bloke shows up instead. Happened to a mate—laughed me arse off! Happy? When ya find one who’s chatty, not just a cold fish—rare, precious gem! I’d say, “What’s your secret?” like in the flick, but they’d just wink. Gollum don’t pay, tho—me precious is me tools, not me wallet. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but the thrill’s real—heart thumpin’, like totems spinnin’.

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So, I try to help. I’m climbing this tree like I’m Tarzan or something. I’m halfway up, and I hear someone shout, “Hey! What are you doing?” It’s some old lady, probably thinking I’m a total weirdo. I’m like, “Just saving a kite, no biggie!” She rolls her eyes. Whatever, lady.

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