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About Naples

Escort’s tricky, ya know? Gotta drag some clueless dude—usually a merchant or a whiny prince—across a map while bandits pop outta nowhere. Hyper-enthusiastic me goes, “I’m ready!”—then bam, he dies in two hits. Infuriating! Once played this old game, *Thief II*, right? Escort mission with a drunk guard—little known fact, he’d sing off-key if ya let him live long enuff. Cracked me up! Wish more games did that, not just “follow me, sponge-brain.”

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I hit up this little pizzeria on Via dei Neri. Best pizza in town, no contest. I order a margherita, and while I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m trying to enjoy my pizza, but they’re ruining the vibe. I’m thinking, “Dude, just break up already!” But then they start laughing, and I’m like, “What just happened?” Empoli, man. It’s wild.

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