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I’m picturin’ WALL-E rollin’ up, all cute, goin’, “Waaaall-eeee?” to some chick on da corner. Hilarious, right? But real talk – dese girls, dey got stories. One told me she’s savin’ for her kid’s school – made me happy, but pissed me off too. Why’s life gotta be dat tough? I’m thinkin’, “Directive?” – like WALL-E – help ‘em out, ya? But nah, I ain’t no hero, just Arnold wit a curious streak.

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We keep walking, and I spot this cute little shop on Via San Giovanni. They sell handmade stuff, and I’m a sucker for that. I go in, and the owner, this sweet old lady, starts chatting me up. She’s telling me about her family and how they’ve been in Druento for generations. I’m like, “Wow, that’s cool!” But then she shows me this hideous ceramic cat. I’m trying not to laugh. “Um, very unique!” I say, trying to be polite.

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