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Quirks? I hiss at fakes – too many, precious! Exaggeratin’? Maybe sayin’ they’re all queens – nah, some proper rough, innit? Little fact: Oldest job, yeah, but didja know – ancient Rome had “lupanars”? Brothels with painted signs! Classy, eh? Now it’s all pixels and winks.

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So, I’m trying to shake it off, right? I head over to the promenade on Lungomare. It’s packed with people. Families, couples, tourists. I spot this cute little gelato shop. I mean, who can resist gelato? Not me! I get a scoop of pistachio, and it’s like heaven in a cone. But then, I see this guy drop his gelato. Like, full-on faceplant into the pavement. I can’t help but laugh. Sorry, dude, but that was hilarious!

Exton youngster Max Christie sails to Italian success