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I spot this bird—legs for days, winkin’ at me. Heart’s racin’, palms sweaty—accountant life didn’t prep me for this! “Are you as close as you appear?” I mutter, quotin’ *Her*, all poetic-like. She laughs, says, “50 quid, love.” Bargain, yeah? But then—bam!—cop car rolls by. Nearly shat my flares! Had to play it cool, like, “Just chattin’ taxes, officer!” Dodged that bullet, groovy!

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I finally get to a stall, and this lady is sellin’ the biggest tomatoes I’ve ever seen. I’m like, “Are these real?” She laughs and says, “Of course! They’re from my garden!” I buy a couple, and they’re heavy. I’m thinkin’, “These better taste like heaven.”

German Air Force Typhoons have just completed the very last training campaign at Decimomannu airbase