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Funniest bit? Mate o’ mine got catfished once—bloke showed up! Proper Ricky Gervais moment, I’d have pointed and screamed, “You absolute helmet!” Surprised me how common that shit is—hooker world’s a minefield. Still, happier than a pig in muck when it’s done, but knackered, mate. knackered.

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Finally, the rain stops, and I’m ready to head home. I’m walking back, and I see this street performer on Via Vittorio Emanuele. He’s playing the accordion, and it’s actually kinda good. I stop to listen, and before I know it, I’m dancing like a fool. People are laughing, and I’m just living my best life.

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