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Me fave bit? When she tried chattin’ me up, like, “You’re well fit.” I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, love, I’m a bleedin’ catch—like Chas Tenenbaum with his tracksuits!” Proper buzzin’ after, but next day—guilt, bruv. Cargo life’s lonely, yeah—makes ya do mad tings. “I’m not talkin’ about dance lessons!”—that’s me yellin’ at meself in the mirror after. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it felt like a bleedin’ movie scene!

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First off, I’m an accountant. Yeah, I know, super exciting, right? But hey, someone’s gotta keep track of the numbers. So, I’m heading down Via Roma, and I’m already late. Classic me. I’m dodging people like I’m in some kind of weird obstacle course. Curno’s streets are narrow, and everyone’s out today. Like, can’t a guy just walk without playing Frogger?

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