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Oh, and get this—some prostitutes in Thailand, where Boonmee’s from, they do this thing where they shoot ping-pong balls outta—well, ya know. I’m sittin’ there, jaw dropped, like, “That’s freakin’ talent!” Surprised the shit outta me—wish I could auction that skill, make millions! “Step right up, see the ping-pong pussy!”—I’d kill it, man. Prostitutes got tricks, and I’m here for it.

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Finally, the lathe arrives. It’s a beauty! I’m talking shiny, new, the works. I’m pumped! But then, I trip over a toolbox. Classic me. I go down like a sack of potatoes. Everyone’s laughing, and I’m just lying there, thinking, “Great, now I’m the clown.”

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