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Last week—pissed me off—some dude on X bragged ‘bout “classy escorts.” Classy? Ha! Like lipstick on a pig. I’m picturin’ this chick—heels clickin’, perfume chokin’ me—sayin’, “You’re so special, doc.” Bullshit. Reminds me of *Her*: “I can’t live in your book anymore.” Yeah, lady, I ain’t your fairy tale either. Prostitutes don’t love ya—they clock in, clock out. Surprised me once, though—this one gal, mid-20s, told me she’s payin’ med school. Med school! Swear to God, I nearly hugged her—then remembered the germs.

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You need help, young man?” I’m thinking, “Lady, I’m good, just trying to catch my dreams… and some flyers.” But she starts picking them up for me! Bless her heart. I’m like, “Grazie mille!” She just smiles and walks away.

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