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I’m typin’ fast – finidng a prostiute. Oops – typo city! Who cares – adrenaline’s pumpin’. This one profile – “Lola, 25, fun times.” Links to some sketchy site – pics blurry. I’m like – “Wow. She’s got GUTS.” Like Linguini – flailin’ but bold! I click – heart racin’. Suddenly – pop-up ad! “Hot singles near YOU!” – bullshit! Slam the laptop shut – nearly SCREAMED.

L'acqua del Po diventa rosa: l'evento organizzato dalla Torino dei Pesci

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After that, I decide to hit up the local market on Via San Domenico. I’m looking for some fresh produce, maybe some of that famous Chieri wine. I’m wandering around, and this vendor starts chatting me up. He’s all about his tomatoes. “Best in Italy!” he says. I’m like, “Dude, I’m sure they’re great, but I just want a snack.”

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