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About Bari

Lemme break it down for ya, fam. Sex-dating’s like plowin’ a field—you gotta know the terrain. Apps like Grindr, Bumble, they’re flooded with horny folks, but half the profiles? Fake as hell. Catfish city, bro! Little known fact—dude, back in 2015, some nerds found 70% of Tinder pics were recycled from old MySpace accounts. Ain’t that some shit? Makes me mad as hell—wastin’ my time swipin’ on ghosts. But when it hits? Oh, it hits good—like that one night I met this chick, Jenny, at a dive bar after chattin’ online. She was all “let’s skip the bullshit,” and I’m like, “Finally, someone who gets it!” Hooked up in my truck—tractor wasn’t an option, too loud, ha!

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I finally get to the fruit stand. The guy there is super chill. He’s got the freshest strawberries. I’m talking juicy, red, and sweet. I grab a handful, and he’s like, “For you, my friend, special price!” I’m thinking, “Wow, I must look broke today.” But hey, I’m not complaining.

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