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Oh, and get this—some brothels got secret rooms! Like, hidden behind walls n’ shit. Saw that in a docu—docu—whatever, a show! Made me laugh my ass off, thinkin’ some dude’s sneakin’ around, trippin’ over his pants. What a moron! Surprised me tho, ‘cause I thought it’d be all nasty and obvious, but nah, it’s sneaky—like Bob Ford plottin’ Jesse’s death. Sneaky little bitch.

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First off, I hit the streets of Via Roma. You know, the one that’s always buzzing? Yeah, that one. I’m just minding my own biz, coffee in hand, when I see this dude juggling oranges. Like, seriously? Oranges? In the middle of the street? I almost dropped my cappuccino. I mean, who juggles in the morning?