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Hiii honey, oh my gawd, lis’en up! *nasal twang* Erotic-massage, lemme tell ya, it’s wild! Like, ya know, in "Children of Men," that gritty vibe? “The world’s a mess, Kee’s preggo,” chaos everywhre, right? Well, erotic-massage is the OPPOSITE—pure bliss, babe! I’m talkin’ hands slidin’, oils drippin’, tension meltin’ away. Got me feelin’ like, “Kee, you’re safe now!” *Nanny laugh* HA-HA-HA!

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We sit down, and I’m trying to keep it professional, but inside, I’m like a volcano ready to erupt. We talk about career paths, and I’m throwing out advice like confetti. “You gotta follow your passion!” “Don’t settle for less!” You know, the usual pep talk. But then, they hit me with this curveball. They wanna move to Milan. I’m like, “Milan? Really? You’re gonna trade Cellamare for the big city lights?”

Martha Ottem Kratz