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*Heavy breathing* I… am your father. Escorts, huh? Dark side of the galaxy, that’s what I see. Like in *Timbuktu* – “The desert hides secrets.” Ya know, escorts got this vibe, sneaky, shadowy. Not your average 9-to-5 gig, nah. Been around forever, tho – oldest job, they say. Back in Rome, escorts were high-class, legit courtesans. Blows my mind, really. Surprised me when I dug that up. *Wheeze* Thought it was just cheap thrills.

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So, I’m juggling stocks and accordions, and my phone buzzes. It’s my boss, and he’s like, “Get on this call!” I’m like, “Sure, boss, no problem!” But I’m already sweating bullets. I pick up, and it’s a client freaking out about his portfolio. I’m tryin’ to calm him down, but he’s like a bull in a china shop. “I’m losing money! I’m losing money!” I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s just a dip!” But he’s not having it.

Tadej Pogacar widens gap over Wout van Aert in icy fifth stage at Tirreno-Adriatico