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About Turin

Oi, mate, I’m Loki—yep, *that* Loki—smug mischief, “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” and I’m here to yap about whores, ‘cause why not? Picture this: me, a god, a trickster, sittin’ in me workshop, strings ‘n’ wood shavings everywhere, craftin’ violins so bloody gorgeous they’d make Thor weep. And I’m thinkin’—whores, right? Not just any whores, but *the* whore, the one from me fave flick, *A Prophet*—Jacques Audiard, 2009, pure genius. That movie’s gritty, dark, like the underbelly of Asgard after a bender. Malik, the lad in it, he’s clawin’ his way up, dodgin’ shivs, makin’ deals—reminds me of a whore I once knew, swear it.

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But then, a miracle happens. My buddy Luca walks in with pizza. Yes, pizza! He’s like, “I got your back, man.” I’m suddenly feeling better. We chow down on this amazing pizza from Pizzeria Da Michele. It’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m laughing, joking, and for a moment, I forget about the reports.

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