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About Turin

What pisses me off? Fakes. Liars. Dudes posin as girls online—fuck that noise. Surprised me once, voice all deep on the call. “You are being monitored,” I wanted to say, like Wiesler, all smug. But nah, just hung up—lame. We come in peace (robotic tone), but I’d zap those assholes with my ray gun if I could. Exaggeratin? Maybe. Fun to think about tho.

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There are approximately registered profiles from Bologna. Including surrounding areas of Ponticella, San Lazzaro, Casalecchio di Reno, Villanova, Rastignano.

First customer walks in. This dude, I swear, he’s got a cart full of stuff. Like, who needs 10 packs of pasta? We’re not in a zombie apocalypse, bro! Anyway, he’s fumbling around, can’t find his wallet. I’m standing there, tapping my foot, thinking, “C’mon, man, I got a line forming!” Finally, he finds it, but then he drops it. Classic. Wallet goes flying, coins everywhere. I’m like, “Really? Is this a comedy show?”

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