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Anyways, I pull over, all nervous-like. She struts up, smellin’ like cheap perfume and trouble. I’m sittin’ there, sweatin’, thinkin’, “The first rule of war is…”—what’s that line? Oh yeah—“don’t die!” I’m laughin’ to myself, like, “Larry, don’t screw this up, man!” She’s all, “What you want, honey?” and I’m stutterin’ like a dang fool. Surprised me how chill she was—prolly seen worse than my sorry ass!

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After that, I finally get a breather. I’m ringing up this sweet old lady from Via dei Mille. She’s got a smile that could light up the whole city. We chat about the weather, and she tells me about her garden. I’m like, “Aww, that’s nice!” It’s moments like these that make the job worth it. But then, BAM! The power goes out. Just my luck, right? The whole store goes dark. People are freaking out, and I’m just standing there like, “Great, now I’m a cashier in a horror movie.”

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