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Negotiations start—quick, sharp. “20 bucks,” she says. I’m like, “15, take it or leave it!” She rolls her eyes—bitch, please! We settle, and I’m happy as a pig in shit. Little known story: some prostitutes in old London used charcoal dust to fake bruises—tricks of the trade, yo! Made me wonder if she’s playin’ me too.
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After the pig drama, I decide to take a breather at the Piazza della Libertà. It’s a nice spot, with that fountain and all. I plop down on a bench, trying to catch my breath. And guess what? I see a bunch of kids playing soccer. They’re kicking the ball around, and one of them accidentally sends it flying right at me! I duck just in time, but the ball hits my backpack. I’m like, “C’mon, can’t a swineherd get a break?”
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