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About Bologna

Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk sex-dating, straight from the gut. This ain’t no fancy study, just real talk bout what pulls folks into this wild gig. Sex-dating, man, it’s like that raw vibe in *Fish Tank*—you know, Mia’s messy life, dancin’ in the kitchen, chasin’ somethin’ she can’t name. “You’re lovely, you are,” Connor says, and bam, it’s that hook—someone seein’ you, wantin’ you, even if it’s messy as hell.

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Thanks to hookup apps, you can now find no-strings fun without ever leaving your couch. Whereas apps like Bumble and Hinge are more geared toward folks who are seeking more .

After that, I head back to the clinic, and boom! A dog comes in with a stick stuck in its mouth. I mean, come on! Who lets their dog play with sticks? It’s like giving a toddler a chainsaw. Anyway, it’s a golden retriever named Buddy. Super sweet, but he’s looking at me like, “Help me, please!” I’m trying to get the stick out, and he’s wagging his tail like it’s a party. I’m like, “Buddy, chill! I’m not your personal groomer!”

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