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So, yer swipin, heart racin—ooh, she’s fit! But wait, the psychology kicks in—yer brain’s screamin, “This ain’t just sex, it’s power!” Makes me mad, coz society’s messed up—ppl judge, but they’re all hypocrites. I’m like, “We’re all animals here!”—straight outta Cronenberg’s flick. That line, “You’re the best man I’ve ever known,” hits different when yer payin for company. Sad, innit?

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I get there, and the whole street is buzzing. People are filming it like it’s some reality show. I’m like, “Guys, it’s just a cat!” But nooo, they’re all “Save Mr. Whiskers!” I climb up this tree on Via Garibaldi, and let me tell ya, I’m not exactly a mountain goat. I’m sweating like crazy, and the crowd is cheering. I finally grab him, and he’s just chillin’, like, “What’s the fuss?” I’m like, “Dude, you’re the drama queen here!”

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