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Oh behave, yeah baby! So dig this, I’m a machine milkin’ operator by day, but I got a wild hair to find a prostitute, ya groovy cats! Picture this – me, Austin Powers, struttin’ down the street, lookin’ for some shagadelic action, right? I’m thinkin’ ‘bout my fave flick, “A.I. Artificial Intelligence” – y’know, that bit where Gigolo Joe says, “They made us too smart, too quick, and too many!” – and I’m like, far out, man! That’s me searchin’ for a bird who’s quick on the draw, yeah!

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But then, I hear this commotion. A street performer is juggling fire! I’m like, “What the heck?!” It’s crazy! People are cheering, and I’m just standing there, mouth agape. He drops a torch, and I’m like, “Dude, you okay?” He laughs it off, and I’m thinking, “Only in Carloforte, man.”

Luisa Mercalli, turns 110, she is the oldest woman in Sardinia