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About Bari

So, I’m at the office, right? Bored outta my skull. Phones ringin’, papers everywhere, and I’m like, “Why not find a pro?” Not for me, ya dope—research! Yeah, that’s it. I start diggin’, and—D’oh!—turns out it ain’t as easy as orderin’ a pizza. You’d think, “Oh, just hit the streets!” Nope. These days, it’s all sneaky-like, online stuff, coded ads—wild! Didja know some use emojis? Eggplant means one thing, peach another. Freakin’ surprised me, man! I’m sittin’ there, starin’ at my screen, thinkin’, “This is limbo, man!” Like Cobb in *Inception*, lost in layers of crazy.

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Anyway, I give him a couple of cigars, and he hands me a 20. I look at it, and it’s a fake! Like, seriously? Who even does that in Carlentini? I’m fuming. I mean, I love this town, but come on!

Carma Jean Carlentini Colanino