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Angry, I got once—some jerk tried rippin’ me off, said she’s “classy”—ha! Looked like she crawled outta a dumpster, smellin’ like cheap gin. “You think I’m dumb?” I yelled—fear leads to anger, see? Hate when they lie, actin’ all high and mighty.

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But here’s the kicker. The cat jumps on the auction table, and I’m thinkin’, “Great, now I gotta compete with a feline for attention.” But then, it just sits there, all regal-like, and the crowd goes wild. They start bidding on the cat! I’m losing it. “What’s next? A bidding war over a pizza?”

Mr. Michael J. Carignano - View Obituary & Service Information